I'm really fucking sick of Alienware owners. Seriously. They're all "lol we have the 
better system" when really they haven't bothered to check whether they actually do. 
My friend John bought an Alienware laptop, and was all "hey, my laptop owns all of 
yours" until I showed him that I was getting something better for a fraction of the 
cost.

So you go to Alienware boards, and tell them 'hey buddy, it's cheaper to build one.'
And they're too stupid to figure out how to build one, so they tell you 'yeah, i don't 
know how'. I changed my tactic and I says 'It's cheaper to build one or get one built 
for you at any decent retailer'. And they ENTIRELY IGNORE THE RETAILER THING AND COMPLAIN 
ABOUT NOT KNOWING HOW TO BUILD ONE.

And then when they run out of arguments they start saying 'everyone flames us because 
they're jealous of our computers'. That's so stupid I'm not going to bother breaking it 
to pieces and stamping on it.

So here are my tips for owning an Alienware.

TIPS FOR OWNING AN ALIENWARE
1: REMEMBER, NOBODY WHO FLAMES YOU FOR OWNING AN ALIENWARE IS JEALOUS. 
   WE ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT AN ALIENWARE.

2: REMEMBER THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS WHO COME OVER AND ARE IMPRESSED BY 
   YOUR SHINY BLACK PC DO NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT COMPUTERS.

3: REMIND YOURSELF DAILY THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SOMETHING REASONABLY PRICED.